Historical Romances
From Romeo and Juliet’s star-struck romance to Bridget Jones’s dating disasters, love has certainly evolved over the years. Lauren Cohen travelled back in time to find out more .
In the Middle Ages, marriage was nothing more than a business transaction, where family and elders traded your emotional happiness for money and political agendas. And love? Sorry, but no. So who could blame you for looking elsewhere? As marriage had nothing to do with a romantic connection, the idea of courtly love sprang from the need to seek affection outside wedlock. This was practised in the English courts, especially among nobility, from the 1300s to the 1500s.
Pre-20th century, courting was more of an interview process. Sitting in their potential wife’s home, gifts in hand, suitors would need to get past the parents first as mothers decided which men could call on their daughters, and fathers gave their nod of approval for marriage.
‘The word “date” could originally have been used as a slang word for booking an appoint-ment with a prostitute,’ says cultural historian Beth Bailey. Luckily for us, the meaning has since changed – those who didn’t have parlours in their home to entertain lovers would have to go out to see them, so dating in public areas became the norm.
The 1920s brought on dancing as a popular pastime. Flappers headed to speakeasies to dance the Charleston and swig prohibited alcohol. The introduction of cars equalled more privacy and intimacy. By the 1930s, dating was a cultural norm and it was assumed that any young person would go on plenty of social rendezvous. However, premarital relations were still taboo.
The 1950s
In what was perhaps the last generation of innocence, the dating process usually began with a double-date: nervous youngsters relied on a group
to get the conversation flowing. After the initial shyness, the couple would move on to seeing each other without the entourage before ‘going steady’ (exclusive, but no serious thoughts of marriage). Boys, particularly in the US, gave the girl a token, such as an ID bracelet, to show they meant business. Popular spots to get together were ice-cream or pizza parlours, drive-ins, bowling alleys, coffee and record shops, where the men would foot the bill as women did not pay for anything on a date.
The 1960s
The swinging Sixties was a period of fashion and political transition. Women, stepping out in miniskirts, began taking birth control – just in time for the singledom boom and the pre-marital sexual revolution. The average age of marriage rose to the mid-20s and the birth of feminism challenged the thinking that a woman’s place was in the home.
The 1970s
Dating rules and expectations disintegrated and were replaced by casual ‘hanging out’ and ‘hooking up’. It became more acceptable for women to pay their own way, and marriage became less of a goal. The divorce rate rose and people started living together before tying the knot.
The 1980s
Not just a decade remembered for its shoulder pads and luminescent fashion, but also for sex education. After the free love of the previous years, Aids became a serious problem and people needed to act more responsibly.
The 1990s
One word: technology. Chat rooms and internet dating sites became a great way to meet people. Websites such as Match.com and Friendfinder.com were boosted by the hit movie You’ve Got Mail (where Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan made cyber romance look so cool, and easy!). Cellphones and SMSes also transformed how people were hooking up … and breaking up.
The 2000s
The founding of Facebook in 2004 stamped social networking into the fibres of the 21st century. People reconnected with friends and found love online. There was no rush to get married as the average age of newly-weds increased from 27 to early 30s. Many couples are now choosing to live together before walking down the aisle – if they decide to tie the knot at all, that is.
Beyond 2011
With the rapid enhancements in technology, the future of dating could be rather interesting; there is already an iPhone app that allows users to spot other single people nearby and send them private messages!
However, according to the Sunday Times, a study in the US showed that 29% of women and 27% of men between the ages of 15 and 24 admitted to not having had any ‘sexual contact with another person’. Celebs such as Lady Gaga are encouraging fans to stay celibate until their 20s. Could we see a return to how the dating game used to be?
Spice up your weekly routine by throwing something fun, and a little different, into the mix.
Movie magic
Wine and dine at The Twelve Apostles Hotel in Cape Town. After a gourmet dinner at Azure Restaurant, follow the red carpet to the private cinema where movies are screened daily. The package is R315 pps, including popcorn and milkshakes.
Turn up the heat
Tap into your inner chef and sign up for a cooking demonstration. As a couple, you will have the opportunity to make your own five-star meal. Try Jenny Morris’s Giggling Gourmet School in Cape Town or Wickedfood in Joburg.
Get fresh
Sip designer lattes, munch on home-made snacks or taste artisanal beer on weekend mornings at various local markets around SA. Take your date for
brunch at the Stellenbosch Fresh Goods Market or the Bryanston Organic Market in Joburg.
Work up a sweat
Hike up Lion’s Head in Cape Town or take a walk through the Johannesburg Botanical Gardens – and don’t forget to pack a picnic.
Double click
www.12apostleshotel.com
www.bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za
www.gigglinggourmet.com
www.slowmarket.co.za
www.wickedfood.co.za
