Q - I’ve spotted black debris in my washing machine basin after a long wash cycle. It’s only about four years old and in excellent working condition. Is there a way I can clean it out?

A - It’s important to run a monthly cleaning cycle – this will help keep your machine running efficiently for another good few years and will eliminate any odours.

While most new machines have a standard cleaning cycle, you can clean out older models by doing a normal wash cycle:

• Fill the machine with hot water (it should be set to the largest load).
• Add two cups of vinegar and allow the full cycle to finish.
• Fill the machine with hot water again and repeat the cycle, allowing the clean water to rinse away any remaining dirt. Remember to remove the soap and softener dispensers and soak these in hot water to remove any build-up. Once clean, allow to air dry and replace.

TIP
If the machine’s basin is stained, fill it with hot water and add two cups of bleach after the first water and vinegar wash. Let it run the full cycle and then finish off with the clean water wash.

Q - My toddler stashed a crayon inside his jeans’ pocket. It made it safely through the washing machine, but the dryer was not as lucky – the drum is now decorated with melted red crayon. Can I salvage it?

A - In the words of Barack Obama: Yes, we can! First and foremost, unplug your dryer before you attempt to clean it and let it cool down. Following this, check for any chunky crayon residue and scrape it off with an old credit card. Spray a small amount of WD-40 (available at most hardware stores) on an old cloth and gently rub it over any crayon marks. The WD-40 should lift the wax without damaging the drum. If you really struggle, spray WD-40 on to the bristles of an old toothbrush and scrub the marks. Finally, using soapy water and a clean cloth, wipe the inside of the dryer, paying special attention to the areas that you treated with WD-40.

CAUTION!
Do not spray the WD-40 directly into the drum as it could get into the workings and cause a fire when the dryer is turned on.

Q - My vacuum cleaner emits an awful, musty smell. I change the filters every three to six months and replace the bags regularly, but it doesn’t seem to help. Should I just give up and buy a new vacuum?

A - Hold the phone! If this one is still in good working condition (that is, it effectively sucks up dirt), there’s no need to spend unnecessarily on a new machine. It simply needs a good clean. Remove the bag and wipe the compartment with a soap-rinsed cloth. Next, sprinkle two teaspoons of cinnamon into the bag – it will give off a lovely, homely smell when you vacuum. If cinnamon doesn’t appeal, add two teaspoons of baking soda, which acts as an odour neutraliser.

Q - We’ve had our dishwasher for a couple of years now and it doesn’t appear to clean as effectively as when we first got it. Is there something we can do?

A - Like a washing machine, a dishwasher also needs regular cleaning to ensure it performs at its optimum. Begin by removing the racks and utensil holder. Mix two cups of vinegar in a litre of water and wipe the inside of the machine. Scrub stubborn marks using a soft toothbrush and a paste made from baking soda and water. Wipe the outside of the machine too. Next, remove the rinse arm, drain grate and filter. Wash these with the vinegar-water mixture and use a toothpick to remove any tiny bits of food that are stuck in the holes from which the water sprays. Wipe down with a dry cloth and reassemble. Pour two cups of white vinegar on to the bottom of the dishwasher and turn it to its shortest wash cycle. Pause halfway and let it stand for half an hour, allowing the vinegar to work on odours and dirt that may have been left behind. Turn it back on to rinse, then wipe down the inside. It will now wash like a new machine.

When it comes to planning financially for a child, it’s hard to tell how much money is enough. But according to Mary Tozer, a financial planning practice manager at The Wealth Corporation in Durban, if you wait until you think you have enough money to get married or start a family, you’ll probably never be ready. ‘However, if you are sensible and you plan well, you can afford to have a baby within your means.’

It’s All About The Money
Morné Bezuidenhout, of Netto Invest in Cape Town, says a budget should always be a priority – even more so when you have a baby. You can miss meals if you run out of money, but your child can’t. Draw up a list of everything you need to pay. If you find your income doesn’t stretch to cover every item, make some decisions about what you can do without or find for less money. Remember that a mother will more than likely have to stop working for at least a few months. Find out exactly what your company’s maternity leave policies are so you don’t get any nasty surprises. Legally, your company doesn’t need to pay you a full salary (or any salary) during maternity leave, but you are entitled to claim UIF. After maternity leave, if both parents work full-time and have no support structures, childcare costs can run up to several thousands of rands. Morné suggests that young couples should try to live off one income before they have children, to see how they cope financially with less. Another benefit of only using one salary for spending is that you can save the other, adding it to the amount you’ll have when your baby arrives.

Carving Up Your Finances
Drawing up a list of everything you should buy before the big day can make you as queasy as morning sickness. So what exactly do you need?

Breast is best And not just because of all the nutrients and the soothing effect it has on babies, but because it is free. Aside from saving you the cost of formula, bottles, bottle warmers and bottle sterilisers, it’s convenient to have baby food on tap.But the natural way is not for everyone, and you won’t know if this applies to you until you are a mother, so be prepared to buy these necessities. And buy them new – these items take lots of wear and tear. Also, unless they’ve been meticulously sanitised, it’s more hygienic to be the first owner.Nappies This is a major outlay for new parents, particularly if you’re opting for disposables. Don’t buy too many of the smallest size, as your baby may outgrow them before you finish the pack.

Shop around. Other new moms are usually the best source of information for where you can find a good deal. The old-fashioned towelling variety is cheaper. But you need lots of them to keep baby’s bum dry and clean around the clock to avoid rashes. Clothing Often friends and family host a baby shower, treating the mother-to-be to plenty of vests, Babygros, bibs, booties and other garments to get her started. If you aren’t so lucky, buy only a few items for each size, because clothes really aren’t worn for more than a few weeks in the first year. Plan to rewash regularly. Remember to work out how many months old your new bundle of joy will be when it is summer or winter to avoid buying seasonal items of clothing that won’t fit.

Bedtime It also costs money for Junior to sleep! Consider the biggest cot possible – you’ll get more use out of it – and buy cot bumpers so your baby doesn’t hurt him- or herself. You can roll up towels or blankets instead of using custom-made protectors. Carry cots don’t last long and can only be used when your baby is sleeping, so don’t put that at the top of your list. If you want a mobile resting spot, rather buy a baby car chair that doubles as a recliner for feeding and sitting up to see the world. Many prams come with these chairs included in the deal. If you’re pressed for time and money towards the end of your pregnancy, you could even consider using a pram as baby’s first bed.

Second Time Around
You really don’t need to pamper your offspring with only the very best money can buy. Most parents are happy to settle for equally functional but perhaps less flashy labels. Shop around for bargains and look out for sale opportunities. There’s no shame in decking your nursery out in a combination of second-hand and new furnishings. And choose colours that will apply to both genders – the room will then have longevity in case you have more children in the future.

Medical Matters
If you want to have your baby in a private hospital, or are anxious about being able to afford the bills should they need medical treatment, become a member of a medical aid. Understand what your medical scheme does not cover, says Mary, and add your baby as a financial dependent at the earliest opportunity.

And This is Only The Beginning…
It is estimated that South African parents will spend around R3.5 million to feed, educate, house and mind a child from birth to 18 years of age. if you wait until you think you have enough money to get married or start a family, you’ll probably never be ready If you’re pressed for time and money towards the end of your pregnancy, you could even consider using a pram as baby’s first bed

Q I live on my own, so I never manage to get through a family-sized pocket of fruit before it goes off. The waste is so annoying! What can I do with the leftovers?

A Nothing complements a glass of cold water on a hot summer’s day like fruit-filled ice cubes. Boil enough water to fill an ice-cube tray (this will ensure the ice cubes come out clear and not cloudy, which can happen when using tap water) and allow it to cool down. Remove the skins and seeds from the fruit you want to use – apples, oranges, grapes, blueberries, strawberries and lemon or lime zest are all good – and cut into small pieces. Place one or two fruit pieces into each section of the tray. Fill to the brim with the cooled water and place in the freezer until set.

Q I’m a shoe addict! How can I keep them all clean?

A Takkies Remove laces and machine wash on a cold cycle, then air-dry. Hand-wash laces separately. To get rid of odour, place three tablespoons of bicarb into each shoe, leave overnight and empty out in the morning. Leather boots These need to be shined with shoe polish, then buffed to a good sheen with a chamois cloth. Non-leather boots Brush the uppers with a shoe brush to remove dust. Use a soft toothbrush to scrub off mud, then wipe with a damp cloth and leave to dry. Plastic sandals Scrub with a toothbrush dipped in warm, soapy water and leave to dry. Cotton or fabric shoes Use a mild fabric-cleaner spray.

Q I’ve managed to get chewing gum stuck on my favourite shirt. How can I remove it?

A Dry, hard gum is easier to remove than the sticky stuff, so place the shirt in the freezer for a few minutes. Once it has hardened, carefully pick at the gum with the edge of a credit card. If it has left a stain, apply pre-wash spray or dishwashing liquid directly on to the mark, leave for 30 minutes, then wash the shirt as you would normally. Don’t put the garment in the tumble-dryer until there are no traces of gum left!

Q I have noticed moss growing on my patio. How can I get rid of it?

A Pour white spirit vinegar on to the moss and leave for about five minutes, then scrub the area vigorously with a hard-bristle brush until the moss comes off, before rinsing the area with water. If that doesn’t work, mix ¾ cup bleach with three litres of water and pour over the moss. Leave for 10 minutes, scrub and rinse. Do this early in the morning before the sun gets too hot, as heat will make the bleach dry out quickly and it will be more difficult to scrub off the moss.

Q My garage is overflowing with fairy lights, tinsel and baubles. Is there a clever way to store Christmas decorations?

A First things first, separate your decorations into different categories – tree accessories and table and outdoor decorations. Pick out all the items that are damaged and no longer usable, and throw them away. Then put each category in a separate box and clearly label each one. This should make it easy to pack the boxes away neatly, either in a cupboard or in the garage.

Here’s hoping that employers will be filled with the spirit of goodwill when it comes to handing out end-of-year bonuses or 13th cheques. But with that glorious little thud of extra cash into your bank account comes the question: spend it or save it?

‘You really need to decide if you plan to save your bonus, spend it or use it to conquer your debt,’ says financial planner Bryan Hirsch.‘Whatever you choose to do, have a plan and make sure you stick to it.’ Here are some ways to make your bonus work for you

Dump your debt
Pay off your highest interest debts. Making a lump-sum payment into your credit card, a microloan or an overdraft can make a substantial difference to your interest repay-ments and your financial health. ‘Let’s say you owe R20 000 on your credit card that you are paying off over a year,’ says Debbie Netto-Jonker, founder of Netto Invest. ‘If you put R5 000 from your bonus into your credit card, you could reduce your payments from R1 800 to R1 350 a month, giving you an extra R450 a month in your pocket. This will save you interest, pay off your debt faster and give you more disposable income from your pay cheque.’

In bondage
Putting a little extra into your bond now can save masses over the long term. ‘If you put a R10 000 lump sum into a R1 million bond that you’re paying off in instalments of R8 679 a month, you can save about R208 320 over the 20-year lifespan of the bond,’ says Bryan. That’s a saving not to be sniffed at – and it’ll bring your monthly payments down to R7 811.

Save now, win later
Be tax savvy and save for your retirement. The bad news about a bonus is that it’s taxed at your maximum tax rate. However, you can contribute 15% of it to a pension or retirement fund. This is tax deductible, and you will be saving for your future, says Debbie. If you pay 15% of a bonus of R5 000 – that’s R750 – into a retirement vehicle, you’ll save between R150 and R300 in tax, depending on your taxable income. Other things you could consider doing with your bonus

Treat yourself
You have worked hard and earned your bonus, so decide on an amount you’ll take out of it, perhaps 10%, and use it on a real treat you wouldn’t ordinarily spend money on. ‘You deserve to spoil yourself after working hard,’ says Debbie.

Share it
’Tis the season for giving, so pass on some of your good fortune to those in need. In their book, Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements, authors Tom Rath and Jim Harter write that there is neurological evidence to show that giving money makes us feel happier than buying things. Websites suchas www.charitysa.co.za and www.charity.org list charities by category.

Invest in your future
Study further, join a gym or upgrade your computer. ‘Not enough employers are training their staff, so invest in yourself by going on courses to improve your skills,’ says Bryan. You could also join a gym. The fitter you get, the more enthusiastic and energetic you will become, which will help you get ahead at work too.

Start an emergency fund
There may be things you have not planned for in your monthly budget, such as your car breaking down, the dog getting biliary or the geyser bursting. This gives you a fund to tap into,
so you can avoid getting into debt due to unexpected expenses. Talk to your financial planner about the best money market fund or high-interest saving vehicle for this.
Go on holiday ‘Take the family on holiday, but use your bonus to do this,’ says Bryan. ‘Don’t create more debt by using your credit card and spending your bonus elsewhere.’

What not to do with your bonus

• Don’t clock up debt during the year, planning to pay it off using your bonus.
• Don’t blow the lot on shoes or gadgets.
• Don’t feel tempted to buy everyone you know extravagant presents.
• Don’t forget it is taxed and count on the full amount.
• Don’t rely on getting a bonus again next year. Plan your finances without it.

What if I don’t get a bonus?
While some people have a 13th cheque written into their contracts (if you do not, chat to your HR department about adding this clause to your salary structure), in terms of our labour law, the paying of bonuses is entirely up to your employer. But, if one person in a company gets a bonus, everyone must get one, and at the same percentage of their salary. So, for example, everyone across the board would get 50%. Because of this, a bonus isn’t really something you can request as an individual, but is something that you should appreciate if you get it, and do something worthwhile with.

Savvy storage
While its intended purpose is to house your car, the garage is often filled with odds and ends that build up over time and fill it to capacity, sometimes leaving no room for vehicles. While adding shelves can be useful, there are other options. You could construct a sturdy mezzanine platform fixed to the back wall (use the entire width!). Place it high enough so that it sits above the bonnet of your car. You can also hang standard doors (around R200 each) from pulleys fixed to the rafters for additional storage space. This way you will gain extra storage and still get to park inside.

Laundry room
If your garage has water and electricity outlets, you can easily convert it into a laundry room. Place the tumble-dryer on top of the washing machine – provided, of course, it is not a top-loading one – to save space, or position these units under a counter where they can be hidden behind doors. The counter will also provide a good workspace for sorting and folding laundry.

Guest room
Turn the garage into a space for guests or rent it out to supplement your income. Keep the decor neutral and inviting and let in as much natural light as possible. Save money on flooring by applying a paint-on finish to the bare, smooth concrete. Epoxy or floor paint is easily applied and creates a trendy minimalist look that can be finished off with an attractive rug. You will also need to insulate the ceiling, replace the garage door and install a bathroom. Drywall partitions can be incorporated where added privacy is needed.

Mini gym
A popular option is to use the garage as a gym. Consider interlocking rubber tiles or exercise mats to pad the floor. In addition to an exercise bike or cross-trainer, invest in dumb-bells or kettlebells. A cost-effective home gym option could include a punching bag (hung from the rafters), an exercise mat, a skipping rope and a bungee cord fixed to an eyelet bolt (fitted into the wall) for simple resistance training. A lot of gym equipment doesn’t need to be plugged in, so you won’t need to install additional electrical outlets, but lighting is ideal.

Home office
If you own a small business, or have clients who meet you at home, converting your garage to an office will help separate your work life from your living space. Consider installing laminate flooring and floor-to-ceiling shelving or a few well-placed floating shelves for storage. Add a desk, comfy chairs and perhaps a sofa. Make sure there is sufficient lighting for specific tasks. For a stylish facade, ditch the garage door and replace it with a sandblasted glass wall. Don’t forget to keep security in mind and research business zoning in your area. Take a weekend to transform your garage, gain a room and boost the value of your home. By Ashley Stemmett. A lot of gym equipment doesn’t need to be plugged in, so you won’t need to install additional electrical outlets

Music studio, sports bar or home cinema
If your teenager has a band, if you need a spot to enjoy a rugby game with (rowdy) friends or if you want the space for a home cinema, soundproof your garage. Install soundproofing (acoustic foam panels) to the inside of the garage door and walls to help keep noise to a minimum and improve the quality of the sound experience. Add music equipment, a comfy couch, a TV or a projector and a home-theatre system.

DIY workshop or artist’s studio
A workbench will always come in handy, but can take up space. Consider fixing a fold-down option to the wall, so you can fit the car in too. Depending on the sort of work you’ll be doing, ensure your garage is well ventilated (if possible, add a dust extrac-tion system) and that you have adequate task lighting. An art studio will need lots of natural light.

Before you start
… you need to tackle some practical concerns. Here are a few pointers:

1. Clear out your garage Be ruthless. Chances are you will not miss most of it. Sell or donate anything of value that you no longer need.  Get rid of or find alternate storage for the rest.
2. Create a floor plan The simplest garage conversion entails one main area. Separate rooms can be created using drywalling.
3. Plan for additional electrical outlets or plumbing points Call in professionals to install these.
4. Close up your garage door opening If you are committed to the change, you are not likely to keep the garage door as part of your converted space. Instead, fill the opening with a permanent wall or semi-permanent timber construction – but don’t forget to add a door for access.
5. Fit ceilings Use ceiling boards to cover any exposed rafters and add insulation if converting the room into living space.
6. Paint the walls Always apply a primer before  painting with the chosen colour.
7. Decide on flooring Choose the right flooring for the intended purpose. Install it only once the painting is complete.
8. Windows and doors If your garage has no windows, attempt to add as many as possible or install stackable glass doors for natural light and ventilation.

I want to leave my job, but can’t decide if I’m making the right decision. How do  I weigh up the risks and research the job market so that I have a realistic idea of what I’m getting myself into?

If your current job isn’t right for your skills and interests, if the work environment is wrong for you, or if your values don’t match those of your employers, then leaving could be best, says Penny Holburn, a business and life coach from Sandton. She adds, however, that it is not a good idea to quit because you don’t get along with someone or because you’re stressed. ‘Those same problems will usually crop up again.’

Conflict Resolution
If there’s a serious problem at work making you want to flee, your first step should be to discuss it with your manager, says Penny. ‘One of the responsibilities of managing people is helping them with problems on the job, as well as their career development. Some HR departments even offer career counselling services.’ Allow them a reasonable time period to get back to you with a feasible suggestion. ‘Then give their solution a trial period. If it doesn’t work, seek a second option or ask for a transfer to another department or branch,’ says Tracey-Lee Bezuidenhout of Professional Career Consultants in Phalaborwa.

Time Management
Then there’s the issue of timing. It can be a good idea to look for a change of scenery if you’ve been doing the same job for a very long time. ‘You need to keep learning and growing,’ says Penny. However, she advises that before leaving, consider opportunities for growth within your current company. While some people stay in their jobs too long, others err on the side of brevity. Penny says that, generally, being in a job for less than two years doesn’t look good on your CV. ‘Potential employers worry about two things: can this person do the job and will they stick around?’

Decisions, Decisions
When it’s time to move on, weigh up the pros and cons of your current job (including salary, standard of living, working conditions, perks and potential for growth). If your mind is made up, Tracey-Lee advises researching the job market via ads in the paper, getting in touch with recruitment agencies and searching websites such as www.pnet.co.za or www.careerjunction.co.za.

Golden Years
According to Penny, employees who are older and approaching retirement usually worry about their pension. ‘When changing jobs, you should ideally reinvest your retire-ment money,’ she advises. She adds that not all companies offer the same perks, so you need to make sure you don’t lose out overall. ‘If the new company doesn’t offer equivalent benefits, make sure they’re made up for in your total cost to company.’Finally, Tracey-Lee says you should never leave your job until you have another position to go to.

Send your queries or dilemmas to ed@livingspacemag.co.za

 My husband disapproves of the fact that my best friend is a guy. How do we deal with this? Can a friendship between a man and a woman be truly platonic or do I have to break up with my BFF?
There’s no need to ‘break up’ with your best friend, but you may need to redefine your relationship. Navigating your way through this conundrum will require sensitivity and a dose of searing honesty, but it’s not impossible.

Examine Your Motives 
What are you getting from your relationship with your best friend that you are not getting from your husband? Is it appropriate?

Know The Limits
Set clear, reasonable and fair boundaries with your partner around what faithfulness means – both sexually and emotionally. ‘The key is trust,’ says relationship counsellor Rev. Deacon Les Ruhrmund. Demonstrate to your partner that he can trust you to remain faithful. Likewise, make your friend aware of your boundaries as a married person, particularly in terms of confidentiality. There will be some things in your marriage that would be inappropriate to share, and it’s important that he knows and respects that. You should also be clear about your intentions for the relationship between the two of you and ask him about his.

Don’t Look For Trouble
You know what constitutes a romantic situation for you; do not get into that kind of setting with your ‘best friend’. Be aware of your behaviour: if you find yourself flirting, sharing things with him that you are not sharing with your husband or confiding in him about your husband, you may be heading into the danger zone.

Stay Close
If your husband feels secure, he is less likely to perceive other relationships as threatening.

Fact or Fiction?
What is the possibility of a truly platonic friendship existing between a man and a woman?
Rev. Deacon Les says, ‘platonic relationships with both genders enrich and nourish our ability to love others, without necessarily threatening a marriage. The more we love, the more we are able to love and be loved.’ It is possible to have close friendships with the opposite sex, as long as your primary relationship is kept safe.

Send your relationship queries or dilemmas to ed@livingspacemag.co.za

When we avoid confronting the real issues in relationships, we risk dam- aging them by building resentment and passive-aggressive behaviour. In contrast, honest communication around tough issues can actually increase trust and build intimacy between partners, even when one (or both) of you would rather just keep quiet. Here’s how to go about it. Choose your moment Warn your partner that you are about to broach a tricky topic. You could say, ‘There’s something bothering me. I’d really like to hear your thoughts on it. May I share it with you?’ Make it safe to rock the boat According to Cape Town clinical psychologist Rika van den Berg, we may avoid sticky issues because, deep down, we are afraid conflict in our relationship may end in rejection, or even a break-up. So, when the discussion heads into murky territory, assure your partner that, however it goes, you will still love them.

Look them in the eye and maintain physical contact, such as holding hands. Let them know they matter We may also avoid the tough stuff because we are ‘over-compliant’, says Rika. We are so geared towards appeasing others that we can lose touch with our own needs and opinions. Your partner may be avoiding confrontation just to try and keep you happy. Tell them their opinion is very important to you. And, when they do venture to share their true feelings, accept them compassionately. Set boundaries for dealing with anger Anger can be a scary emotion. We may avoid prickly conversations because we think that it’s wrong to get angry, or because we are afraid that our anger may spiral out of control. Set boundaries around what you will do if you start to feel angry in a conversation, for example, calling a time-out to calm down.

Have your say.
Express yourself using this model created by Cape Town counselling psychologist Dina Oelofsen: Present the facts

Present the facts ‘When X happens…’

Express how this makes you feel ‘I feel…’

Explain what you make of it ‘I understand this to mean…’ or ‘The impact this has on me is…’

Say what you have learnt about yourself ‘This shows me that I…’

Ask for what you would like in future ‘I would like to ask that you…’

Write down your thoughts beforehand to make sure you are clear on the issues. Avoid using blanket statements, such as ‘I always’  and ‘you never’. And listen. Really listen.

Send your relationship queries or dilemmas to ed@livingspacemag.co.za

Q My husband likes to spend quite a bit of time on his own. I understand that ‘alone time’ is healthy, but I’m worried we will start growing apart if we don’t share each other’s interests. Is there such a thing as too much time apart? How do we find a middle ground?

It is important that you discuss this issue with your partner, as it can lead to resentment between the two of you if left unaddressed. Here are some suggestions.

Communicate What You Need

Spending quality time with your husband is important for you to feel connected to and loved by him. As always, don’t discuss your concerns when you are upset and emotional. When you are feeling calm and centred, let him know that you would like to chat to him about something important to you. Keep the conversation about your feelings and needs; avoid blaming him. Ask him clearly and gently for what you would like from him in future.

Accept His Needs

The two of you seem to have different needs when it comes to feeling loved by one another. You want to be together a lot of the time; he needs space and probably always will. You need to accept and encourage this, in the interest of his mental and emotional well-being, which will inevitably be best for your relationship. However, it should console you to know that, often, a little bit of quality time together can sustain you during fairly long periods apart. Once you are getting the regular quality-time topup you’ve asked for, you are likely to feel more loved, connected and secure in the relationship.
It will be easier to accept the time he spends on his own, trusting that he will come back and show you he loves you in the way you need.

Be Okay On Your Own

Being aware of our needs in a relationship and expressing them well is extremely important. However, it is also useful to be aware of how much we rely on our partners to make us happy. Cape Town-based psychologist William Elliot believes that, in a healthy relationship, personal happiness should be 80% our own responsibility and only 20% our partner’s. If you have given your partner too much responsibility for your happiness, you may need to adjust your expectations of him and focus on how you can sustain
your own happiness.

Play In Each Other’s Worlds

It’s great that you have diverse interests – your relationship will be richer for it. Use the time you are apart to pursue the things that interest you.
Occasionally invite him to join you in doing something you enjoy and let him know you’d like to join him too. Don’t clock-watch when you have your partner’s attention. Allow yourself to relax into and enjoy the precious time you do spend together.

Send your relationship queries or dilemmas to ed@livingspacemag.co.za

Find Out More
• Megan Galloway
082 577 3559
hello@megangalloway.com
• William Elliot
083 379 0112
william@williamelliott.co.za

Q My fiancé and I are anxious about fusing our finances into one after we’re married.
How do we reconcile our individual expenses, debts and savings as a couple?
If we have joint expenses and one of us is injured or dies, would the other one be burdened with their debt?
How do we manage our money well once we’re married?

Money plays a big role in any marriage and financial stress, when not dealt with properly,can cause irreparable harm in a partnership.It’s therefore important to discuss how you’ll manage your finances before you tie the knot. Both of you need to be honest and fair, in order to reach an agreement around matters such as savings and debt. Any monetary involvement from either of your parents, such as an inheritance or loan, needs to be discussed openly to avoid any future misunderstandings. Next, work out a joint budget that will help you to live within your means. Chat about how much each partner should contribute to household expenses, such as water, electricity, food and transport, each month. Deposit this amount into one account that can be accessed by both of you to cover these costs. Individual accounts are still useful for personal spending and saving.

Importantly, don’t make any financial transactions from either account without first meeting your basic monthly repayments, such as your bond or rent. Another financial matter couples need to consider is the interest rate on their debt – be it on a credit card or the repayment of a bond or car. If the initial rate on the repayment is low, it may increase in coming months; if it’s high, it could decrease over time. Either way, keep your instalments constant and put as much money as you can towards them so you can pay off your debt as soon as possible. You should repay the full amount outstanding on your credit card each month, to avoid the high interest rate, and the risk of falling into debt. An area many couples often neglect is saving for something special, such as a holiday, or – more importantly – retirement.

If you are 30 this year and want to retire at 65, you need to save roughly 12% of your salary each month for a comfortable retirement. If you wait another 10 years and only start saving at 40, you will have to save 21% of your salary. Speak to an independent financial advisor, who will help you understand how to save properly between the two of you. Your will is another area that becomes particularly relevant in a marriage. It stipulates how your assets should be dealt with on your death. In the event of one partner passing away, the other may be left to repay debts by themselves, which can be a huge financial burden to shoulder alone. For this reason, life insurance or assurance (the differences are technical – a financial advisor is best suited to explain the sort of policy you will need) is another financial aspect every couple should consider.

If you have any financial questions, email them to ed@livingspacemag.co.za

Find out more
Gavin Wright
021 525 8600
gavinw@ctn.moorestephens.co.za